True Discussions - Melissa Lyftogt

Photo credit: Melanie McGauhey www.thevelvvettrunk.com

Living with the Lies

Those devastating lies…sometimes they shout and sometimes they just whisper in my ear. Lies that run through my head like a tape repeatedly say: there’s nothing beautiful about me, my jean size determines my value, I’m not worthy of being loved or enjoyed, I’ll never find a man who will desire me as his wife, and on and on. When I live with those lies weighing down my heart, I have issues with food, but even more so, my mind becomes a battleground. First, the food struggle – me choosing a salad when I’m out with friends even though I’d really rather have the pasta…or declining dessert even when that chocolate brownie would taste incredible at the end of my meal…or being deeply concerned that people are judging me for eating anything at all because, clearly, I’ve had plenty of calories to last a lifetime! Deeper than those food issues are anxiety and a ravaged self-confidence.

I turn up the humor – if I can’t be beautiful, I can at least be funny. I avoid situations that might expose imperfect parts of me. I wonder what motivates people to enjoy me because surely if they knew the raw parts, they’d run as far away as possible. I am shattered inside around attractive men, because I just know that they’re repulsed by me; I put a wall up around the unattractive ones, because I just know that they’ll cling to me as an approachable person since my looks are not intimidating. I become a deluded mess. Even the Gospel that can fill me with hope leaves me heavy laden with condemnation at times. Writing out these lies right now makes them seem so irrational to me, but that’s the problem with lies – they are completely irrational, yet terribly believable at the same time.

Living with the Truth

Oh the Truth that sets me free! It’s always accessible if I cry out for it. Sometimes I have to cry out over and over again, but the Truth is the same no matter the state of my mind and heart. Truth tells me that my beauty runs much deeper than my skin and my curves, but reaffirms that I am an absolutely gorgeous woman on the outside too! Truth tells me that my jean size is irrelevant. Truth tells me that everyone is worth being loved and enjoyed, including and especially quirky me! Truth gives me hope for a sweet marriage one day to a man who will embrace my good, my bad and my ugly because, guess what, he’ll come with his own good, bad and ugly. Truthfully, I love carbs and chocolate and having a good conversation over a mouth-watering meal!

Walking in Truth means living out of a deeper, rawer place…desiring brokenness and sincerity instead of perfection and the superficial...being okay with my humanity…giving others space to be okay with their own humanity. Accepting Truth allows me to be myself around others and frees me to let them enjoy even the imperfect parts of me. It’s amazing the love I have for others, when I love myself well. I become vibrant and gracious, and honest. The Truth of the Gospel becomes overwhelming and freeing. I serve a God who loves me unconditionally and who freely gave Himself for me – there is no condemnation in Him. These truths seem much more enticing to me than the lies I’ve believed for so long! May we all have the courage to choose Truth over lies, recognizing that lies destroy us and that Truth brings fullness to this life.

My "TRUE" Statement:

I am comfortable in this skin and can now allow others to delight in me just as I am. I find FREEDOM in the Truth of the Gospel

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