True Discussions - Krista Barmer

Photo credit: Melanie McGauhey www.thevelvvettrunk.com

Living with the Lies

For me, living with the lies began when I was 17 - probably earlier. But that's the mile-marker to which I trace this part of my journey. Living with lies as a young woman looked like self-absorbed comparisons to magazine covers, peers, family members, strangers and even myself. The lies told me I had to be perfect, better than everyone else, the skinniest, the prettiest, the smartest, the most talented, the funniest, the most successful. But as the lies wooed me toward perfection, they also whispered about the ugly, dumb, inadequate failure I was.

A little later on, living with lies looked like an unwillingness to see that I was dabbling with anorexia. The lies told me to restrict, to work out more than I ever needed to, to weigh myself all the time, to take laxatives to keep my weight down, to consume myself with jean size and waist measurements. Lies told me that centering my life around those things would really make me happy, would keep me in control, would make me perfect. Finally perfect.

Today, 13 years from those first whispering lies, I still hear the lies. And sometimes I let them in and live with them for a while. They still entice me to compare, to restrict, and to strive for control and perfection. But I've shed light on those ugly untruths ... it's tougher to get me to buy what they’re selling.

But when I let them get even a foot in, they blind me to all the beauty, vitality and purpose in my life. I see flaws rather than strengths. I stifle my strength and passion for the call of God. I become confused about the meaningful ways God is leading me in His Kingdom work.

Living with the Truth

I’ve been living with the truth lately. And freedom has come on its heels. Truth and freedom always go together I think. When I embrace the truth about my body and my identity, I am free to be all God has called me to be. And in a way only His Spirit can speak to me, I hear God whisper tender realities over the noisy lies of a dysfunctional society, over my own hypercritical voice. And I believe Him - most of the time.

He says, “You are beautiful. This is the body I made for you. I sculpted every line, formed every curve, molded every inch. Your personality and character, your smile, your laughter...I crafted those, too. My fingerprints are all over you. And I don’t make mistakes. I make beauty.”

That’s what I hear when I’m living with truth. But it's a battle to believe what is true, to live in freedom, so living true looks a bit like a battlefield. With so many enemies to truth – our culture, the media, Satan, our own flesh – the onslaught is never-ending. Unattainable standards, conflicting advice, old wounds, and an enemy who lives to steal everything from us.

But I’m willing to fight because the truth and freedom are so worth it. To believe what God says about me. To see myself the way He created me, and to shine the beauty and the truth of His light in me. This is the TRUE life. This is freedom!

My "TRUE" Statement:

What is true about me? I am beautiful, I am free, and I am loved wildly, wholly, by my Creator, King and Daddy.

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