http://truecampaign.org/index.php en info@truecampaign.org Copyright 2012 2012-01-23T04:21:01-06:00 http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/flirting_with_ed/ http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/flirting_with_ed/#When:05:21:01Z By Valerie Cunningham In the past couple of months, I have hit a glitch in my 5+ years of recovery from my Eating Disorder. What was moving along quite seamlessly, with only a few minor bumps along the way, was now in jeopardy. If immediate change didn’t take place, my “textbook” (as my dietician called it) recovery was heading toward the danger zone with the potential for relapse. I like to call this chapter of my recovery “Flirting with ED”. (ED is simply an abbreviation for Eating Disorder. I prefer to think of my Eating Disorder as another person, and naming it helps to put a face, if you will, to this very real disease.) When I went into treatment five years and eight and a half months ago, the thought of ever running back into the arms of ED was the farthest thing from my mind. It simply wasn’t an option. I had divorced ED and never wanted to see his face again. But in recent months, the temptation to rekindle my love affair with ED has been strong.  By Valerie Cunningham In the past couple of months, I have hit a glitch in my 5+ years of recovery from my Eating Disorder. What was moving along quite seamlessly, with only a few minor bumps along the way, was now in jeopardy. If immediate change didn’t take place, my “textbook” (as my dietician called it) recovery was heading toward the danger zone with the potential for relapse. I like to call this chapter of my recovery “Flirting with ED”. (ED is simply an abbreviation for Eating Disorder. I prefer to think of my Eating Disorder as another person, and naming it helps to put a face, if you will, to this very real disease.) When I went into treatment five years and eight and a half months ago, the thought of ever running back into the arms of ED was the farthest thing from my mind. It simply wasn’t an option. I had divorced ED and never wanted to see his face again. But in recent months, the temptation to rekindle my love affair with ED has been strong. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t want to marry ED and be committed to him forever. I didn’t even want to date him. However, the idea of flirting with ED, in order to cope with my current pain and feelings of desperation, was enticing. Yet what I have found is that flirting can lead to dangerous consequences. What starts out as harmless, like exercising an extra ten minutes or forgoing that necessary snack, can eventually become so intriguing that it seduces you back into his arms – ED’s arms. And before you know it, you are exercising more than you should and completely skipping meals. Once back in ED’s tremendously strong clutch, it is incredibly difficult to break free. Not impossible, mind you---just a grueling task.  Is it worth it? Is it worth it to dance with the enemy for a fleeting moment of euphoria, only to be left wanting more? My conclusion is this:  No, it is not worth it. The cost is much too high. So today, I recommit myself to recovery. 2012-01-23T05:21:01-06:00 http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/lessons_from_lucy/ http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/lessons_from_lucy/#When:16:29:01Z By Valerie Cunningham I’m not a big TV lover, but I do appreciate some of the classics of yesteryear. Lately, one of my guilty pleasures has been to tune in to re-runs of the ever-popular 1950’s sitcom, “I Love Lucy.” I remember watching it when I was a youngster home sick from school (or just playing hooky.) Recently I flipped upon it and it has become a semi-regular, 22-minute comical escape from the real world. Lucy, the fiery red head, and her blonde partner-in-crime, Ethel, always find themselves in a mess; yet creatively manage to wiggle their way out. A couple of weeks ago, an episode caught my attention. It began with Ricky, Ethel, and Fred talking about how over the years they had put on a few pounds. Lucy denied that such a thing had happened to her, and demanded that a scale be brought out into the middle of the living room floor just to prove her point. Her husband and friends were happy to oblige, and much to her chagrin, Lucy had indeed gained some weight since her wedding day 10 years prior. By Valerie Cunningham I’m not a big TV lover, but I do appreciate some of the classics of yesteryear. Lately, one of my guilty pleasures has been to tune in to re-runs of the ever-popular 1950’s sitcom, “I Love Lucy.” I remember watching it when I was a youngster home sick from school (or just playing hooky.) Recently I flipped upon it and it has become a semi-regular, 22-minute comical escape from the real world. Lucy, the fiery red head, and her blonde partner-in-crime, Ethel, always find themselves in a mess; yet creatively manage to wiggle their way out. A couple of weeks ago, an episode caught my attention. It began with Ricky, Ethel, and Fred talking about how over the years they had put on a few pounds. Lucy denied that such a thing had happened to her, and demanded that a scale be brought out into the middle of the living room floor just to prove her point. Her husband and friends were happy to oblige, and much to her chagrin, Lucy had indeed gained some weight since her wedding day 10 years prior. As to be expected, Lucy devised a plan to loose the weight, in order to fit into a particular size costume, so that she could be featured in Ricky’s upcoming show. She’s had 5 days to do it. Running laps around the floor of her New York City apartment building, dining on celery leaves, and spending the day in a steam room to sweat the pounds away, Lucy eventually squeezes into the sequin-studded ditty and makes her grand appearance in the show, only to be carried away on a stretcher and ordered to 3 weeks in bed, due to malnutrition and exhaustion.  How many times do we fall for crazy diet schemes and desperate measures in order to fulfill a weight loss goal? How many times have we been determined to fit into that bridesmaid dress or look “just so” for that ever-so-important reunion? How many times have we refused to buy a certain item of clothing because we simply would not be caught dead wearing that size? Sure, Lucy’s plan worked, temporarily, but she would quickly have long-term consequences to deal with.  What I found so interesting with all of this is that before there was any mention of weight, Lucy was perfectly fine with her size. As a matter of fact, she didn’t believe that she had put on any pounds. She was comfortable in her skin, completely satisfied, until…the dreaded scale and unrealistic sized costume made their way into her life. It is so easy to get caught up in what others (society, the media, fashion designers) say we should weigh or what size we should wear. What will it take for us to learn the lesson to be comfortable in our own skin, regardless of what the scale says or what number is printed on the tag of our clothing? Lessons from Lucy. I’m sure there will be more. Stay tuned… 2011-11-14T16:29:01-06:00 http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/whats_a_calorie/ http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/whats_a_calorie/#When:18:24:00Z By Valerie Cunningham There we were, standing in the checkout line at the grocery story, when my almost 9 year old daughter asked, “What’s a calorie?” Trying not to over-react, I calmly replied, “Excuse me, what did you say?” She then pointed out the bold advertisement on the seemingly innocent box of popscicles we were purchasing. Despite my well meaning attempts to shelter and protect her from words like calorie, fat grams, and gluten, among others, inevitably the day would come when she would hear or read them. And in my opinion, that day came too soon. I’m hyper-vigiliant when it comes to anything related to eating and body image issues, most obviously because I was held captive to my Eating Disorder for more than two decades.  By Valerie Cunningham There we were, standing in the checkout line at the grocery story, when my almost 9 year old daughter asked, “What’s a calorie?” Trying not to over-react, I calmly replied, “Excuse me, what did you say?” She then pointed out the bold advertisement on the seemingly innocent box of popscicles we were purchasing. Despite my well meaning attempts to shelter and protect her from words like calorie, fat grams, and gluten, among others, inevitably the day would come when she would hear or read them. And in my opinion, that day came too soon. I’m hyper-vigiliant when it comes to anything related to eating and body image issues, most obviously because I was held captive to my Eating Disorder for more than two decades. The word calorie was one I knew at an early age and it was a “bad” word. There was nothing good associated with it. I remember a little calorie-counter book that lived in the junk drawer of our kitchen in my childhood home. I had memorized every calorie for every item in that book, well before my Eating Disorder began to play out in my life.  It took a lot --- treatment, therapy, and learning to eat intuitively --- but thankfully, today I don’t view the word calorie as “bad”. In simple terms, it means energy. Necessary energy to fuel my body to perform and function the way God intended it to. That day is not far off, when I will have to sit my daughter down and have a painfully honest conversation of what I went through and the bondage I was in for all of those years. But until then, the answer to that premature question is, “Nothing you need to know about now….nothing at all.” 2011-10-17T18:24:00-06:00 http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/the_voice/ http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/the_voice/#When:16:20:01Z By Valerie Cunningham I’ve been hearing the voice. It is very subtle, oh so sly, and barely audible, but the voice is there. It whispers when I rise in the morning, and when I get dressed. It calls out my name when I step into the kitchen and open up the cupboards and the fridge. It beckons me when I try to schedule an outing that might involve food. That voice is the voice of my Eating Disorder trying to lure me into its clutch again.  The Eating Disorder says things like, “You won’t feel so out of control if you start doing things my way again,” and “It will make you feel so much better to just numb out by restricting,” and “Nobody will notice or even care if you start manipulating your food intake and cutting down on your portion size.” At this very moment those three statements feel so true. And I must admit, very tempting. By Valerie Cunningham I’ve been hearing the voice. It is very subtle, oh so sly, and barely audible, but the voice is there. It whispers when I rise in the morning, and when I get dressed. It calls out my name when I step into the kitchen and open up the cupboards and the fridge. It beckons me when I try to schedule an outing that might involve food. That voice is the voice of my Eating Disorder trying to lure me into its clutch again.  The Eating Disorder says things like, “You won’t feel so out of control if you start doing things my way again,” and “It will make you feel so much better to just numb out by restricting,” and “Nobody will notice or even care if you start manipulating your food intake and cutting down on your portion size.” At this very moment those three statements feel so true. And I must admit, very tempting. But in my heart of hearts---in my wise mind---I know they are lies. I know that what the Eating Disorder provides is a false sense of control, and in actuality, would create a more out-of-control feeling. I know that numbing out by not eating just does a gross disservice to myself and those around me. And lastly, though often difficult to accept, I know that there are people who do care about me and would notice the shift in my behavior. As I sit here and ponder, the lyrics of a popular song by the contemporary Christian band, Casting Crowns, comes to mind. The chorus sings: But the Voice of truth tells me a different story The Voice of truth says, “Do not be afraid” And the Voice of truth says, “This is for My glory” But of all the voices calling out to me I will choose to listen and believe The Voice of truth Jesus said, “And the truth will set you free.” (John 8:32) Whose voice are you going to listen to today? 2011-09-19T16:20:01-06:00 http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/trust/ http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/trust/#When:17:09:00Z By Valerie Cunningham Sitting at the table eating lunch together, my eight-year-old daughter asked, “Mama, when are we going rock wall climbing again?” This was not a random question. You see, every year my husband, daughter, and a couple of close friends and I celebrate my anniversary in recovery from my Eating Disorder by going rock wall climbing. I had never before been rock wall climbing until I was in treatment. One morning they marched us out to the rock wall for this physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional exercise. It was a life-changing experience that I will never forget. Thus, every year on my anniversary, I commemorate my recovery by trying to re-create this unforgettable moment. It had only been four months since our last climb, so we still had some time to go before our next venture. I proceeded to explain this to my girl, and then added, “You know, I get really scared rock wall climbing. It frightens me.” By Valerie Cunningham Sitting at the table eating lunch together, my eight-year-old daughter asked, “Mama, when are we going rock wall climbing again?” This was not a random question. You see, every year my husband, daughter, and a couple of close friends and I celebrate my anniversary in recovery from my Eating Disorder by going rock wall climbing. I had never before been rock wall climbing until I was in treatment. One morning they marched us out to the rock wall for this physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional exercise. It was a life-changing experience that I will never forget. Thus, every year on my anniversary, I commemorate my recovery by trying to re-create this unforgettable moment. It had only been four months since our last climb, so we still had some time to go before our next venture. I proceeded to explain this to my girl, and then added, “You know, I get really scared rock wall climbing. It frightens me.” “Well, you are locked in to the rope. If you fall, it will catch you,” she said, quite confidently.  “It’s the rope I don’t trust!” I exclaimed.  “Well mom, then you just need to trust God. He will protect you. And if something did happen, then at least you’ll go to heaven!” Wow! I was blown away by the wisdom in this little girl’s words. Moreover, I was amazed by her faith. She was right. I did just need to trust God. This got me thinking. What other things did I just need to trust God in? My finances, my relationships, my recovery and issues with food… My list continues to grow.  Jesus said in Matthew 17:20, “I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” It is so easy to go through the motions of the day, without giving a second thought that the Creator of the Universe has us in the palm of His hand, regardless of whether we are rock wall climbing or washing dishes. Just trust God. Out of the mouths of babes. 2011-08-29T17:09:00-06:00 http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/progress_report_8_7_11/ http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/progress_report_8_7_11/#When:18:24:00Z By Valerie Cunningham In a recent support group meeting for Eating Disorders, we talked about PROGRESS.   It is so easy to get caught in the trap of negative self-talk and comparing, beating ourselves up in areas that we seem to have fallen short.  This can become a vicious cycle, which only leads to discouragement, depression, and possibly relapse. So let me challenge you with this exercise… I remember back to when I was approaching my 1-year anniversary in recovery from my Eating Disorder. I was so discouraged, feeling that I should be farther along in the process, wondering when some of my “issues” would no longer be an issue.   I sat in my dietician’s office in tears, feeling defeated.  She suggested we look back over the past year and make a list of the accomplishments that I had made.  So we sat there for the next half an hour, comparing my past and present.  Here is a sampling of that list. By Valerie Cunningham In a recent support group meeting for Eating Disorders, we talked about PROGRESS.   It is so easy to get caught in the trap of negative self-talk and comparing, beating ourselves up in areas that we seem to have fallen short.  This can become a vicious cycle, which only leads to discouragement, depression, and possibly relapse. So let me challenge you with this exercise… I remember back to when I was approaching my 1-year anniversary in recovery from my Eating Disorder. I was so discouraged, feeling that I should be farther along in the process, wondering when some of my “issues” would no longer be an issue.   I sat in my dietician’s office in tears, feeling defeated.  She suggested we look back over the past year and make a list of the accomplishments that I had made.  So we sat there for the next half an hour, comparing my past and present.  Here is a sampling of that list. * I used to be a slave to the scale.... Now I no longer own a scale and know that my significance is not found in a number.  * I used to restrict my food intake.... Now I eat intuitively and honor my body. * I used to micro-manage what my family was eating.... Now I no longer am the “food police.” * I used to say “no” to social activities because of the fear of food.... Now I say “yes” to social functions, and don’t deprive myself of relationship or celebrations because of the fear of food. That assignment was a huge boost in my healing journey.  Now, when I am feeling stuck, I remind myself of this list.  It serves as “proof” that I have made progress.   So the next time you are feeling defeated in your recovery process, or you find yourself caught in the cycle of comparing yourself to others, might you try this exercise?  Documenting your progress can be a powerful tool in your recovery journey. As I walked into the treatment facility, where I would spend the next 60 days, my eye caught a plaque on the wall that read, “He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it.”  Philippians 1:6.  This has become my life verse.  God is not finished with me yet.   There is a lot more refining that needs to take place. I am a work in progress.   And so are you! 2011-08-08T18:24:00-06:00 http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/wonderfully_made_you_are/ http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/wonderfully_made_you_are/#When:20:54:00Z On this week’s True Sisterhood Podcast we chat with Allie Marie Smith, founder of Wonderfully Made and author of HEAL (Healthy Eating, Abundant Living), about depression, eating disorders, and learning about God’s great love for us. Special Music: The tunes during our chat with Allie Marie are by her friend Jessica McLean. Check out Jessica’s website at www.jessicamclean.com. Wedding Dress Ideas? In this podcast, Paige announces her engagement to Chris! Don’t forget to email me at constance@truesisterhood.com if you have any ideas for where she can get wedding dresses made for, um, littler gals… On this week’s True Sisterhood Podcast we chat with Allie Marie Smith, founder of Wonderfully Made and author of HEAL (Healthy Eating, Abundant Living), about depression, eating disorders, and learning about God’s great love for us. Special Music: The tunes during our chat with Allie Marie are by her friend Jessica McLean. Check out Jessica’s website at www.jessicamclean.com. Wedding Dress Ideas? In this podcast, Paige announces her engagement to Chris! Don’t forget to email me at constance@truesisterhood.com if you have any ideas for where she can get wedding dresses made for, um, littler gals… 2011-03-23T20:54:00-06:00 http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/cutting_silent_screams/ http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/cutting_silent_screams/#When:20:41:00Z On our weekly True Sisterhood podcast we like to talk about true issues, and one of the truest yet least understood struggles is cutting (and other forms of self-injury). In today’s podcast (listen at http://www.truesisterhood.com), former cutter Elaina Whittenhall (author, Cutting) and previous guest Jerusha Clark (author, Inside a Cutter’s Mind) offer a balanced and personal view into the struggle with self-injury. Referenced on today’s show: Access 25 self-injury videos including tips for managing it at www.findingbalance.com (type “cutting” into search box on any page); Hungry for Hope eating disorders conference; Girls of Grace TX event featuring Constance on 4/9. On our weekly True Sisterhood podcast we like to talk about true issues, and one of the truest yet least understood struggles is cutting (and other forms of self-injury). In today’s podcast (listen at http://www.truesisterhood.com), former cutter Elaina Whittenhall (author, Cutting) and previous guest Jerusha Clark (author, Inside a Cutter’s Mind) offer a balanced and personal view into the struggle with self-injury. Referenced on today’s show: Access 25 self-injury videos including tips for managing it at www.findingbalance.com (type “cutting” into search box on any page); Hungry for Hope eating disorders conference; Girls of Grace TX event featuring Constance on 4/9. 2011-03-08T20:41:00-06:00 http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/what_do_u_see/ http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/what_do_u_see/#When:23:28:00Z Today’s True Sisterhood podcast is proof that women can come up with things to talk about with little to no prompting. And when you throw in the fact that we all ask Jesus to be in our midst during the conversation, you end up with a completely unscripted, unplanned yet perfect journey into what we really “see” in life. In people. In ourselves. A few links promised in the podcast… The Cover Girl Culture video (and the angsty comment that got us talking), Sharon’s blog post ”What Are You Looking At?”, our True:Shift Compassion Int’l effort, and the Team Hoyt video which gives us all a look at REAL love in action (see below): The photos from our recent photoshoot (mentioned on today’s show) are coming soon, I promise. I just need a little more time and didn’t want to delay this posting, so you’ll just have to come back! Today’s True Sisterhood podcast is proof that women can come up with things to talk about with little to no prompting. And when you throw in the fact that we all ask Jesus to be in our midst during the conversation, you end up with a completely unscripted, unplanned yet perfect journey into what we really “see” in life. In people. In ourselves. A few links promised in the podcast… The Cover Girl Culture video (and the angsty comment that got us talking), Sharon’s blog post ”What Are You Looking At?”, our True:Shift Compassion Int’l effort, and the Team Hoyt video which gives us all a look at REAL love in action (see below): The photos from our recent photoshoot (mentioned on today’s show) are coming soon, I promise. I just need a little more time and didn’t want to delay this posting, so you’ll just have to come back! 2011-03-03T23:28:00-06:00 http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/toxic_thoughts_this_weeks_ts_podcast/ http://truecampaign.org/index.php/site/toxic_thoughts_this_weeks_ts_podcast/#When:05:24:00Z If our lives are shaped by our thoughts, what can we do when those thoughts are often negative and unhealthy? This week’s guest is Jerusha Clark, author of several books including Every Thought Captive: Battling the Toxic Beliefs that Separate Us from the Life We Crave. We talk about the “soap-operas of our minds” and get into some dark places, such as her previous eating disorder and her struggle with postpartum depression, which she also wrote about. If you sometimes find yourself plagued by self-hatred, depression or just plain negative thinking, this week’s show will help you find next steps toward freedom. Listen now at www.truesisterhood.com If our lives are shaped by our thoughts, what can we do when those thoughts are often negative and unhealthy? This week’s guest is Jerusha Clark, author of several books including Every Thought Captive: Battling the Toxic Beliefs that Separate Us from the Life We Crave. We talk about the “soap-operas of our minds” and get into some dark places, such as her previous eating disorder and her struggle with postpartum depression, which she also wrote about. If you sometimes find yourself plagued by self-hatred, depression or just plain negative thinking, this week’s show will help you find next steps toward freedom. Listen now at www.truesisterhood.com 2011-01-21T05:24:00-06:00