THE VOICE
Monday, September 19, 2011 - Comments 1
By Valerie Cunningham
I’ve been hearing the voice. It is very subtle, oh so sly, and barely audible, but the voice is there. It whispers when I rise in the morning, and when I get dressed. It calls out my name when I step into the kitchen and open up the cupboards and the fridge. It beckons me when I try to schedule an outing that might involve food. That voice is the voice of my Eating Disorder trying to lure me into its clutch again.
The Eating Disorder says things like, “You won’t feel so out of control if you start doing things my way again,” and “It will make you feel so much better to just numb out by restricting,” and “Nobody will notice or even care if you start manipulating your food intake and cutting down on your portion size.”
At this very moment those three statements feel so true. And I must admit, very tempting.
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TRUST
Monday, August 29, 2011 - Comments 6
By Valerie Cunningham
Sitting at the table eating lunch together, my eight-year-old daughter asked, “Mama, when are we going rock wall climbing again?”
This was not a random question. You see, every year my husband, daughter, and a couple of close friends and I celebrate my anniversary in recovery from my Eating Disorder by going rock wall climbing. I had never before been rock wall climbing until I was in treatment. One morning they marched us out to the rock wall for this physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional exercise. It was a life-changing experience that I will never forget. Thus, every year on my anniversary, I commemorate my recovery by trying to re-create this unforgettable moment. It had only been four months since our last climb, so we still had some time to go before our next venture.
I proceeded to explain this to my girl, and then added, “You know, I get really scared rock wall climbing. It frightens me.”
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PROGRESS REPORT 8/7/11
Monday, August 08, 2011 - Comments 1
By Valerie Cunningham
In a recent support group meeting for Eating Disorders, we talked about PROGRESS. It is so easy to get caught in the trap of negative self-talk and comparing, beating ourselves up in areas that we seem to have fallen short. This can become a vicious cycle, which only leads to discouragement, depression, and possibly relapse. So let me challenge you with this exercise…
I remember back to when I was approaching my 1-year anniversary in recovery from my Eating Disorder. I was so discouraged, feeling that I should be farther along in the process, wondering when some of my “issues” would no longer be an issue. I sat in my dietician’s office in tears, feeling defeated. She suggested we look back over the past year and make a list of the accomplishments that I had made. So we sat there for the next half an hour, comparing my past and present. Here is a sampling of that list.
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